As the resident tramp of AndyErupts, money has been typically tight lately. I’ve not had the money to go out and buy shiny new things to review for the site (or shitey old things for that matter). I’m a law abiding tramp and refuse to download the latest torrents because, well, it’s not very nice I think. Instead I tented myself up outside the editor’s house until he had an advance copy of something worth reviewing. I’d watch truck loads of B-movie tripe shipping out to Harlequin and Zombie D. Knowing it would more than likely be material not worthy of human consumption but jealous nonE the less. The tactic seemed to have paid off as eventually he gave in, unzipped my tent door {I did knock first – Ed} and handed me a copy of Alyce. There have been far worse days at the office.

I mean just look at the titular character here. Working a data entry employee with a jobs worth, dragon-like supervisor who doesn’t seem to let anything pass her by. Always hovering around, looking to get her in trouble…I’d hate a job like that. Alyce seems to think there is some sort of future in it for her. Me and her mate Carol aren’t so sure. Not that Alyce would disagree much. She’s a bit of a recluse. And what was it your mum always said? It’s the quiet ones you need to look out for? I hate to side with your mum, dude, but she was bang on the money.

It’s not hard to tell that Alyce is a very pretty lady, a little thin if you ask me, {no one did, fatty boom boom-ED} though her age is harder to tell as in some scenes she looks about fifteen and others about thirty five. I’m guessing early twenties judging by her chosen lifestyle at the beginning of the movie. Her friend Carol (who it seems Alyce has more than friendship feelings for) seems to be a habitual buzz chaser, taking any drug that she can get her hands on and Alyce just goes along with it, mostly. But one night will change that routine forever and serve as the catalyst of the main character’s slow decent into madness and loneliness.

We’ve all done it.

Anyway…

The two girls get annoyingly drunk and Carol starts searching for better highs, coming across some right dodgy locations and drug dealers along the way (ah, the memories). They end up fooling around the streets, acting in that really stupid, giggly way only drunk women get that really irritates me and it results in Carol pummelling off a roof. Hurray! FUCKINSERVESHERRIGHTANAT!

Sorry.

The roof scene is shot so it’s difficult to say exactly what happened. Panicking, Alyce flees the crime scene and then later lies to the police about her involvement, protecting herself from the law. The police man is glad to report to her that her friend managed to survive the fall…

This is when the paranoia sets in. The anxiety. Alyce starts to freak out and tries to console her emotions with drug use, delving more and more into Carol’s murky world. We’ve all done it.

Anyway…

The lines gets blurry, the boundaries collapse, her world changes…and it won’t be long until this whole new world is punished…

There are some pretty gruesome scenes but nothing that would turn the stomachs or heads of the AndyErupts team but maybe it would gross out their “girlfriends” (yeah, whatever, geeks) and it takes a long time getting there.

At ninety minutes it runs it’s course just fine but I can’t help thinking a good 10-15 mins could have been slashed off the running time and we’d have barely noticed. Sometimes it feels like an over long short film, other times it felt like an under developed script saved by some pretty excellent turns from the relatively unknown cast. Especially Eddie Rouse, who is formidable as low life drug dealer Rex. Jade Dornfeld was given a pretty hard task as the lead role and manages to not only make her descent believable but also lets her cool side warm the screen the further down the rabbit hole Alyce goes.

Director Jay Lee does a very nice job here. At times the film’s low budget does show but mostly the whole thing works. The hand held camera and some pretty grim lighting seem cheap at the start of the film but make sense by the end of it. His cast are well directed and work great but the very few jump scenes in the film don’t work as well.

It’s a decent cross breed of Taxi Driver, Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer and Harry Brown with a young female lead. It’s also no where near as unforgettable or as thought provoking as those three films though. By the end of Alyce I was thinking more about the last time I’d had a mental night on class A’s than I was about what the film was trying to tell me…

It was a long time ago and nobody died. A bit like the sex lives of the entire AndyErupts squad.

I must admit I’m not an expert geek of all things Harry Potter but I really enjoyed the films. So I was delighted to go and see the latest film and tell you all what I thought of Harry Potter and The Woman In Black. I couldn’t wait to see the boy wizard’s latest adventure.

But I was a little confused. A few things have changed since the last outing. Obviously with Voldermort dying in the last film, Harry needed a new baddie. And a new setting. And a new cast. But no eye candy in the shape of Rupert Grint? Presumably it clashed with the filming of that Ed Sheerin music video he featured in. Which is a shame. He missed out because this is definitely the darkest and by far scariest of the Harry Potter movies to date.

Harry, now named Athur Kipps (Daniel Radcliff), is now a young lawyer and single parent (with nanny). He still grieves for his wife who died young during the childbirth of his only son. And it’s taken it’s toll on his work ethic. His bemused boss tells him he must get his arse back in gear and pronto mister or else face being made redundant. He then sends him packing to the outskirts of London to help put the estate of the deceased Alice Drablow and the Eel Marsh Mansion in order. This is his last chance to prove he is worthy of the firm he is represents.

After a short train journey, Harry is welcomed into the nearby town like a paedophile arriving at a child’s tea party. You know the way. Like the Americans at The Slaughtered Lamb or Edward Woodword arriving in Summerisle…There are things here no stranger need know about. Every one of the locals egging him to go, trying to force his hand in leaving but he has to stay to keep his job to feed his baby who has no mummy now. He has to go to the mansion everyone tells him not to go to. It is isolated on a small islet and can only be arrived at during brief intervals when the tide is out and it’s only path is crossable.

Eel Marsh Mansion is an old, run down house with it’s own graveyard, tall iron black fences and often engulfed in thick mist. And it has it’s ghost. The titular woman, who’s story is unravelled as the creepiness intensifies and the startled jumps increase in volume.

And that’s the thing about Harry Potter and The Woman In Black. It’s all…very similar. It never strays from the norm. If you placed The Woman In Black movie poster into the dictionary next to word ‘conventional’, it would sum up the meaning of the word much better than any actual words could. You’ve seen this all before, most recently with the likes of Nicole Kidman’s The Others.

But there is nothing wrong with conventional if every one on the project knows exactly what that is and how to achieve it. There is nothing wrong with conventional coming from the pioneers, Hammer Horror. And there is nothing wrong with conventional if the whole production is carried out with grace, plenty of entertainment value and, most importantly, the scares. And trust me, there are plenty of genuine scares. A few ‘popcorn everywhere’ and young teens yelling ‘OH MY GOD!’ moments.

Most jumps, admittedly, are things appearing in shot with a large BOOMING sound effect. Most of the creeps come from close ups of Victorian doll faces, wind up toys mysteriously going off and slightly ajar doors in the near distance. There is very little blood. There is very little in the way of laughs. This is a traditional Hammer Horror movie and a welcome return to it. The British horror scene is back and taking on the Japanese and yanks with what they do best. This feels like the beginning of a new era by going back to basics and showing the world what we can do.

It’s masterfully done. Director James Watkins delivers the remit with aplomb. His producers will be most happy. And they will be very pleased with their choice of Radcliff who is in almost every shot of the movie and never fails to deliver a genuinely good performance. He’s slowly becoming a very watchable, bankable star. His eyes speak a thousand words where the script has none. I can’t see him getting the nod for best actor gongs just yet but that grimacing face and Churchill dog head wobble which faulted most his Harry Potter performances are gone. Most of the time. His future is looking bright and one can only hope that this Watkins/Radcliff collaboration won’t be their last.

I’m sure a few critics out there will bemoan the cheesey ending but I thought it was perfect. This is a movie that likes being a movie and wants you to remember it for being a great movie experience. This isn’t a hardcore, blood smearing, shotgun driven, American punk rock, zombie exploding haulocaust of a flick. There’s no need for a horrific ending. There’s even less need for it to have that one, final, fatal jump. That’s what the Americans would have done and most their movies suffer because of it. It’s so predictable. This was a welcome change. They try and produce franchises these days. No imminent sequel is always a bonus in this day and age.

So to sum up – it’s conventional, predictable, beautiful looking, well directed, well performed and has a few genuine chills and jumps. Come to think of it, it’s absolutely nothing like the other Harry Potter films. But Harry Potter fans and horror fans won’t really care and will genuinely enjoy it for exactly what it is. A horror film. A ghost story set in the old days. And everything you’d expect from that, it delivers.

NOTE – There is a kinda jump at the end of the film, I just hoped I’d help the surprise. For the filmmakers and ‘at.  Know?

If you’re a regular reader (or Organatic as I like to call you) 2011 was not bad, eh? I mean, you got all my musical works for free, a whole explanation of who Johnny Organ is and lots of failed starts to my online adventures as I keep moving the goal posts on what I’m trying to achieve. You must be thrilled.

2012 starts with the final piece of my musical history.

“What piece of musical history Johnny? I thought you released absolutely everything you had ever done for absolutely free, here on http://organizized.co.uk?”
I imagine you bellow down to me on the street from your living room windows.

Yes. I did. But now there is a “Best Of…” I’m releasing on 3rd February in an attempt to make some hard earned cash from you. Though, not that much.

Backwater Beats – The Best Of Paul Doonan will be 15 track release, initially available from REVERBNATION and over the coming weeks, iTunes, Napster…pretty much every online music store you can think of. The download version is a mere $7.50 (under a fiver in Queen’s money) and the CD version with full colour four page booklet and that a for a miniscule $9.99 (£6.40 by my count).

After this, expect talk of a new release. New material and some sexy hot pics of yours truly. And some words as I return to spilling my brain out on here.

In the meantime, get to adding me on Reverbnation. It’s pretty beautiful on there.

WITH THE ARRIVAL OF THE JOHNNY ORGAN BOXSET THIS MONTH, COMPLETING MY ENTIRE MUSICAL WORKS BEING FREE TO DOWNLOAD FROM THIS SITE, I THOUGHT I’D POST THIS.

I’m going to explain this the best way I can- it’s a tricky subject, but here goes!

I’ve always considered myself a nice person.  I speak my mind, yes. I give criticism when asked for it, yes. And I always was a creative person and with that comes some refusal to back down especially when it comes to people evaluating and changing my original ideas.

But nasty?  No. Vindictive?  Never. But after several years, thanks to lots of former band members and so called friends, a poor reputation was being spread about me. I was being credited for some things I had nothing to do with and not credited for things I had much to do with. In 2005, after almost ten years of this I was hyper tense. My hair began to fall out in huge clumps. Alopecia. But the word got round that I had cancer and that was the final nail…the last straw…the point I…transformed.

I had to hit back at this bullshit. I decided to react to certain criticisms and rumours tarnishing my name. I decided to embody the character that these people would have you believe I was. And display it for all to see.

Everything that was said about me, every rumour that was gossiped, every vile untruth, Johnny Organ became (I left out the cancer in precaution. I have a dark sense of humour and at this point nowhere near the frame of mind to be making fun of true tragedy). If he couldn’t portray a rumour or wildly inaccurate story then other characters were invented and invited to write on Johnny’s behalf. These included

*Jake Limpy – a homeless, drug aided thief and thug.
*Jesse Organ – Johnny’s dumb, illiterate and slutty sister
*Mike Onn – an obsessive type who didn’t really get irony or satire or the girls.

In 2005, the now very controversial and defunct Johnny Organ Myspace page and blog started. Titled Johnny Organ Grinds, I began by poking untruths back at certain types of people. After all I was a liar, right? I began taking credit for things I didn’t deserve that much credit for. Former friends were lambasted, former lovers were ridiculed, the lot. All the while releasing music I had knocked up on my Playstation 2 and proclaiming it to be the best music out there at the minute.

It was childish, it was fun and, trust me, GREAT therapy (Hey! My hair grew back! Howzabout that then?) but it caused a lot of suffering too.

After I had began to upset people I had no intention of upsetting, after a two year stint, three online albums, and a couple of really ropey videos, I publicly killed the character off. By now he had become a hate figure and had stirred up a lot of emotion. Johnny Organ was DEAD!

There was a minor problem though. Because of the work I was doing with the band, chatting to music folk and fans online, joining forums and blogs and social networks, people starting calling me Johnny. Even people I’d known for years. Even my girlfriend.

My intentions changed, I decided to bring him back a little later (after I’d finished my first album with SiNKiNG CiTiES) as a larger than life character. A comic book type creation with a huge storyline told in a completely new way – The Re:Phoenix project – a collection of music, videos and story telling via the blog. A way to fictionalise the character and separate it from me.

Now, there was always an underlying storyline to Johnny’s character. Johnny was a child prodigy who had lost his way when his fellow song writing partner, Sammy Johnston, had died at a very young age after creating a monster hit single in Europe – “The Sammy Dance”.*

Sammy’s death (he was found down a well with a huge amount of barbiturates in his system) was treated as suspicious at the time and Johnny vanished for years, only to return in his twenties with a new batch of music wanting to bury that past behind him. But was this man really who he claimed to be? There was little evidence to prove his case and after all, it was widely assumed that Johnny had died years previous. Was this a cheap publicity stunt? Another person taking credit for Johnny’s past successes and cashing in on the notoriety of his tale?

I invented this storyline for the first Johnny Organ album I had finished writing on 9/9/99. In the tape sleeve was an interview with Johnny explaining all this.

With Johnny now dead, the Myspace blog (now titled Organizized) had been taken over by a mysterious group of Johnny Organ fans, The Organizers, to promote his “undiscovered, unreleased works”(in truth some new collaboration tracks with Parallax Faction and Kenny Brown**) and to report on the findings of the police investigation into Johnny’s death.

With so many enemies, his death too had been treated as suspicious. It was reported in The Digger*** (a kind of underground, independent newspaper in Glasgow) that music producer Johnny Organ had been found dead in the bath having choked on a bar of soap.

The featured characters (such as Jake Limpy) also appeared to pay their “respects”.

After a three month period though, Organizized began getting even stranger. A man claiming to be Johnny hacks into the blog and claims he is not dead. That he discovered the body in his bath and fled. And he believes he is being followed by someone and can trust no one. He has no idea who The Organizers are…

Unravelling, the blog finally revealed that Johnny was a character in my head that was refusing to be killed off and The Organizers were a failsafe in my mind. With the help of The Organizers, I kill off Johnny. This all results in a bizarre side effect – Paul develops a weakness of numbers. Certain numbers in certain formations cause him to lose grip on reality and remind him of his frail mental state and split personality past.

For several months I blog as myself. Promoting my band and friends’ projects. But Johnny soon returns, appearing one night to Paul, promising that he has changed his ways and only wants to entertain. Paul agrees to co-exist.

The Re: Phoenix project kicks in. Comedy videos, music and new features. New guest writers and characters appear, each with their own writing style and colour of font. 10 weeks in, a character BOB LZ appears and the blog stops suddenly.

It returns ten weeks later and it is revealed that Johnny has been busy. He has been spreading his name and character across the internet like a virus, now more powerful than ever and ready to consume the character of Paul once and for all.

Johnny had indeed died but sold his soul to BOB LZ (B L Z BOB – get it?) to return and now BOB wants his prize. Johnny believed he had fooled BOB because the soul was not his to give, it was Paul’s. Before long, Johnny and Paul start fighting for Paul’s soul. The loser to die and despair in the pits of hell, thanks to BOB. BOB tests Johnny’s resolve by throwing a spanner in the works – 9999 – Not 1, 4.

As Johnny almost completely consumes Paul, The Organizers, Paul’s failsafe, kick in again. The blog goes crazy over a week. Characters merging, Paul’s sanity failing, trying desperately to make sense of the numbers…and all is revealed.

The whole Johnny, BOB, Paul, The Organizers, everything, EVERYTHING is the work of Paul’s mind. But the character of Paul fails and the other characters die as Johnny consumes them completely and all that is left is Johnny…on 9/9/09. 10 years to the day of his inception.

The story referenced almost every film I could think of that contained a split personality theme. From Fight Club to Number 23, Angel Heart to Twin Peaks. Even Me, Myself and Irene.

The Myspace gets deleted. http://organizized.co.uk  is born. And Johnny’s next project is currently under construction.

It’s had a few false starts, truth be told.

Do I regret any of my earlier actions? Well, maybe a little. Purely because a lot of people didn’t get what I was trying to achieve. I was parodying myself more than anything. I was challenging preconceptions and untruths and giving some out in return. But people will always get offended and defensive when untruths are spread about them. That is something I, and Johnny, can truly testify to.

Paul Doonan
10/10/2011

* The Sammy Dance was something that came about in my school years and involves the creators of TV’s Burnistoun. I remember old acquaintance Robert Florence doing the first “Sammy Dance” and a story involving a younger family member of his. Time makes these details very vague, but an image of Rab running lightly and quickly on the spot whilst wiggling his fingers around his penis area isn’t.

A little later, myself and fellow youth theatre members Iain Connell and Iain Boyce (under the name Thee Jafeeflums) wrote and produced, on 4 track tape, a comedy music album for a pantomime we were creating within Toonspeak Theatre Company. I wrote the lyrics to Sammy Dance in ten minutes. It tells the story of 14 year old boy Sammy Johnston tragically losing his parents and in his grief creating 2 global dance sensations before dying himself shortly after – The Sammy Dance and The Sammy Shuffle.

**Kenny and my collaboration track Wolfman can be found on DROWNandOUT: the SiNKiNG CiTiES online boxset. Free at http://organizized.co.uk/download

***Johnny Organ’s death was never reported in the press. It was part of the storyline.